August 2012
8 tags
olympic gymnast: jumps 20 feet in the air, defies all laws of physics, does 10 backflips, defeats voldemort, comes back down and lands perfectly on the balance beam while fireworks go off in the background
me: falls on face trying to put socks on
July 2012
12 tags
how i would narrate the Olympics
me: they're doing some athletic shit
youbetter-runlike-thedevil:
stormpooper:
zooeyclairedeschanel:
stop saying i can’t even and start saying i can even
believe in urself
is that a lawn mower flying
no, it’s a lawn mower following it’s dreams
2 tags
3 tags
1 tag
1 tag
3 tags
laughoutloudrightnow:
5 tags
8 tags
1 tag
lordpayne:
this was like two years ago
but anyways so in this one part of my house there’s these three steps but omg they’re deadly
one time i was eating cereal and i slipped and fell and passed out and my cereal got everywhere. My sister said the last thing I yelled before I passed out was
“MY CEREAL!!!”
1 tag
imthedad:
hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they’re fighting over the world’s last oreo
saibuddy:
when i see the word tender it’s just a word
but once you italicize it
tender
Watch
5 tags
DEDICATED READING TIME
whatshouldwecallgradschool:
WHAT I PLAN ON:
WHAT HAPPENS:
7 tags
methlabrador:
hotbabysitter:
What if God was one of us? Just a stranger on a bus, masturbating violently.
fuck kind of bus do you ride
Call me maybe starts playing on the radio
me: oh my god not again
me:
me: I THREW A WISH IN THE WELL DON'T ASK ME I'LL NEVER TELL
1 tag
ohsoakimbo:
4 tags
“Body cells replace themselves every month. Even at this very moment. Most...”
– A Wild Sheep Chase, Haruki Murakami (via jemesuisperdu)
me: *steps outside*
me: where can i lower the brightness
